Stony Lake

Two years ago, when my son, Andy, was killed in a car accident, my whole life felt like it was over. The road back to find a little bit of joy again has been long and hard. There are twists and turns, and sometimes it even feels like I am moving backward. Regaining...

Two Years Without Memories

Two years ago at this moment, Andy was at soccer practice. He had just been named a starter for the JV team for the high school that he was to start in 5 short days. The day prior to this, he had gotten his new uniform. We have pictures of him beaming in that uniform,...

A Summer Remembered

As August 15th gets closer and closer on the calendar, I find myself feeling more emotional as well. I think back to 2 years ago and what my life was like then. Honestly, that summer really did sort of revolve around Andy. He had struggled in school in the past and I...

The Laundry

Today, I am doing something that has made me weep all day. I am doing Andy’s laundry for the last time. It has been almost 22 months since he died, and I had not been able to do it. Every time I picked up the clothes to try, I would smell him. I would smell that dirty...

I find myself with a heaviness all day today as Mother’s Day approaches tomorrow. I had my first Mother’s Day without my mom in 1995. I would send flowers to my grandmother and later to my step-mother on that day, but overall, I liked to try to ignore it....

Andy’s Birthday

  Today Andy should be turning 16 instead of being forever 14. I sit here writing with tears running down my face thinking about what should be happening today if I had only done just one tiny thing differently on August 15, 2018. If only we had decided not to go...