Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog


Episode 160: Josh’s Mum

When today’s guest, Jane, reminded me of the great children’s story, ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt’ by Michael Rosen, it made me smile. It is a wonderful book that has been made into a nursery rhyme that I loved to do with my kids. If you remember the rhyme, it starts...

Four Years Ago

Four years ago this weekend, I was so content. I had my amazing, beautiful three children up with Eric and me for the full week celebrating Elk Rapids Harbor Days as we had done since buying our cottage up north in 2014. We piled into the in the boat in our pajamas...

Episode 133: Where is God in My Grief?

When applying to medical school, potential students are required to write a personal statement to accompany the application. I remember specifically what I wrote in my statement because I was in the pain of grief. I wrote that I was applying to medical school to...

Recent Podcast


Episode 167: For That I Am Thankful

I have often heard people being encouraged to be ‘thankful givers.’ It is supposed to inspire us to either give with a thankful heart or be thankful for a giving heart or something along those lines. When we are grieving, however, there is a new almost unimaginable...

Episode 166: Alex’s Mom

Our kids should be here. It is simply wrong that they are gone before us. It just is. Nothing that we do or say can make sense of the senseless tragedy of the deaths of our children.When Stef’s 16-year-old son, Alex, died suddenly by suicide, her world was shattered....

Episode 165: Chloe’s Mom

Today’s guest, Melo, knows that her life changed in a moment 11 years ago when her infant daughter, Chloe, died. With that death, her life was split in two - the time before Chloe and her new life ‘After Chloe’. After Chloe died, Melo really threw herself into being...

Email me at to be on the show, if you'd like me to speak at an event or if you just want to share your story. I love to hear stories of beloved children everywhere.