Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog

 

Remembered

Today marks 29 months since my dear son, Andy, died. Every day of those 29 months, I have remembered him and missed him. Every day going forward until my last day on earth, I will remember him and miss him. As time moves on, other people forget about Andy and those...

Stony Lake

Two years ago, when my son, Andy, was killed in a car accident, my whole life felt like it was over. The road back to find a little bit of joy again has been long and hard. There are twists and turns, and sometimes it even feels like I am moving backward. Regaining...

Two Years Without Memories

Two years ago at this moment, Andy was at soccer practice. He had just been named a starter for the JV team for the high school that he was to start in 5 short days. The day prior to this, he had gotten his new uniform. We have pictures of him beaming in that uniform,...

Recent Podcast

 

Episode 70: Rachel’s Mom

Michelle's daughter, Rachel, was just 17 years old when she died unexpectedly in a tragic accident. Packed in those 17 years, however, was a lifetime of profound wisdom. From a young age, various people who were exposed to Rachel called her an 'old soul' - she looked...

Episode 69: Jimmy’s Mom

On the home page of Salt Water's website, findyourharbor.com, there is a quote from Isak Dinesen which reads, 'The cure for everything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.' It goes on to explain these each in more detail. Sweat represents 'the healing of your body...

Episode 68: What I Wish I Had Known

As we come to the end of 2020, it is a universal joke that everyone wants this year to be over because of the global coronavirus pandemic. "Bring on 2021," they say, "when life can return to normal!" For grieving people, however, things will never go back to normal. I...

Email me at marcy@andysmom.com to be on the show, if you'd like me to speak at an event or if you just want to share your story. I love to hear stories of beloved children everywhere.