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Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog


25 Years

December 28th was my least favorite day on the calendar until our accident on August 15, 2018. December 28, 1994 was the day my mother died from breast cancer at the age of 42, four years younger than I am right now. I have been thinking about this day coming as I...


This evening, Eric and I were on our way home from Kathryn's robotics competition, and Eric told me that we needed to stop at Costco to buy a big box of Bisquick. He had promised Peter that he would make waffles in the morning. He suggested that we split up and have...

The Book and Holiday Services

Well, today is a big day for me. I have officially started writing my book. In addition to the podcast, I have really felt led to write a book to tell my story more completely. I want to share Andy with the world and to show others what this horrible crazy journey of...

Recent Podcast


Episode 20: You’re NOT going crazy!

'I think I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I am definitely going crazy!'  These are the thoughts that would go through my head starting several weeks after Andy's death and peaking about 6 months afterward. Now, thankfully, these weren't actual voices that I was...

Episode 19: Caleb’s Mom

Today, as I publish this episode, Chrisy’s beloved son, Caleb, has been gone for 150 days, having died by suicide last year on August 12th. Undoubtedly, these has been the longest, worst days of Crissy's life, of her whole family's life. I didn't even know whether to...

Episode 18: Andy’s Dad – A New Year

'Happy New Year' is a phrase that has been said a lot over the past day and a half all over the world. I used to throw that phrase around, too, along with 'Happy Holidays' and 'Merry Christmas.' Nowadays, I don't say those phrases nearly as often. In fact, I think...