Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog

 

Stony Lake

Two years ago, when my son, Andy, was killed in a car accident, my whole life felt like it was over. The road back to find a little bit of joy again has been long and hard. There are twists and turns, and sometimes it even feels like I am moving backward. Regaining...

Two Years Without Memories

Two years ago at this moment, Andy was at soccer practice. He had just been named a starter for the JV team for the high school that he was to start in 5 short days. The day prior to this, he had gotten his new uniform. We have pictures of him beaming in that uniform,...

Episode 48: Greg’s Sister

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the fact that I live in a grieving home, and I am continuing to raise my children in a grieving home and that there is nothing that I can do to change that. It is just not the same place that it was two years ago. Don't get...

Recent Podcast

 

Episode 63: Kevin’s Dad

Do people get little signs from God or from loved ones after they die? There are strong feelings on both sides of this issue. Many people tell you that this is impossible, and those people use very different points to defend this view. An atheist would tell you that...

Episode 62: Hannah Christine’s Mom

I have often thought how nice it would be if I could just wear a sign around my neck that said, "I am grieving. My child is dead. Be nice to me." I think others might go out of their way to be a little more kind. They might ask if they could do an errand for me. They...

Episode 61: Intimacy after Child Loss

Today's episode is far different than the average Always Andy's Mom episode. We dive into a topic that I never would have considered on my own. About 2-3 months ago, a listener wrote in to me asking if I could do an episode focusing on intimacy with one's spouse after...

Email me at marcy@andysmom.com to be on the show, if you'd like me to speak at an event or if you just want to share your story. I love to hear stories of beloved children everywhere.