Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog

 

Four Years Ago

Four years ago this weekend, I was so content. I had my amazing, beautiful three children up with Eric and me for the full week celebrating Elk Rapids Harbor Days as we had done since buying our cottage up north in 2014. We piled into the in the boat in our pajamas...

Episode 133: Where is God in My Grief?

When applying to medical school, potential students are required to write a personal statement to accompany the application. I remember specifically what I wrote in my statement because I was in the pain of grief. I wrote that I was applying to medical school to...

Where is God in My Grief?

A few weeks ago, I was thinking about topics to discuss on the podcast with Gwen and I realized that we had never done an episode focused purely on faith. Faith in grief is a struggle for many, but for others, it is the only reason they feel they can survive. For me,...

Recent Podcast

 

Episode 151: Jackson’s Mom

After Andy died, many well meaning people had all sorts of ideas of things that we could do in his memory. People encouraged me to go to our state capitol to work on registration to combat distracted driving. People recommended scholarships to be made in Andy’s name,...

Episode 150: Dani’s Mom & Step-Dad

You can't judge what is going on the inside by what you see of the outside. From the outside, Dani looked like she had it all. She lived in a great place on Capitol Hill, drove an expensive car, had many designer purses, sunglasses and shoes, but on the inside, Dani...

Episode 149: Self-Care & Grief

I have recently been feeling sort of drained emotionally. I want to keep giving to others and helping other people, but there are days when the well seems a little dry. I worry that I won't have the capacity to do everything I want to do. My therapist told me to take...

Email me at marcy@andysmom.com to be on the show, if you'd like me to speak at an event or if you just want to share your story. I love to hear stories of beloved children everywhere.