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Dealing With The Loss of a Child
My Story

Inspiring Hope, One Day at a Time

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

A Love for Music

My son, Andy, was extremely musically talented. Music really spoke to him. Once when he was 5 years old, we took him to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I looked to him at one point of the concert and he had tears freely flowing down his face. I quickly asked him what was wrong. His reply, ‘The music, it’s just so sad.’ 

He played the piano for many years and played his French Horn, that he named Frenchie, for three. His greatest instrument though, was his own voice. He was a head chorister for the Grand Rapids Choir of Men and Boys and sang with the choir for five years. This video is a clip of one of his final solos, fitting as he sings about ‘fitting ourselves for heaven.

Recent Blog

 

I find myself with a heaviness all day today as Mother's Day approaches tomorrow. I had my first Mother's Day without my mom in 1995. I would send flowers to my grandmother and later to my step-mother on that day, but overall, I liked to try to ignore it. I always...

Andy’s Birthday

  Today Andy should be turning 16 instead of being forever 14. I sit here writing with tears running down my face thinking about what should be happening today if I had only done just one tiny thing differently on August 15, 2018. If only we had decided not to go...

A New World

My regular listeners know that every Thursday morning, I release a new podcast episode. Today, that is not happening. I feel like over the past week and a half, the whole world has changed. COVD-19 has changed everything. Everyone seems to have an opinion, ranging...

Recent Podcast

 

Episode 36: Willow’s Mom

Today, I have the honor to introduce my listeners to my good friend, Willow's mom. I know her as Megan, but she shared that to so many people from 2012-2018, Megan was simply known as Willow's mom. She spent her life caring for her daughter, and that was really a...

Episode 35: Anna’s Mom

Recently, I feel like my grief journey has been harder rather than easier. It is difficult to know why that is the case. Is it because it has now been almost two years since Andy died? Others have warned me of that difficult milestone. Is it due to that fact that...

Episode 34: Dalton’s Mom

Today, I have the privilege to talk with Roni Lambrecht, the delightful, award-winning author of the book, Parenting at Your Best Without Regrets. She lost her only child, 15 year old Dalton, in an ATV accident 6 years ago. She talks about Dalton, the amazing...