As parents, it is natural to want to know what our kids are experiencing. That is probably why at the beginning of every new school year, schools will have an open house where the parents can go to their child’s classrooms, meet the teachers, and see where their child will be spending each day. I know the open house is an event that I look forward to each year and have never missed.
That is one of the many horrible things about Andy dying. I no longer ‘know’ where Andy is. In my heart, I know he is in heaven, but what is heaven really like? Can he see us? Does he want to see us? Is time the same or different? I have to admit that I truly do not know. I was not given a chance to visit like I could visit his school classroom in years past or even like I could visit my daughter’s college dorm. Sometimes, though, I allow myself to imagine what it might be like, and in today’s interview with Tootie, we imagined together just what our boys might be doing.
To take a step back, Tootie’s son, Kole, was an amazing kid growing up, never really giving her any trouble. As an only child of divorced parents, he adjusted well and truly lived life to the fullest each day. Tootie says that Kole never met a stranger and was always ready for the next event or celebration. Everyone just loved Kole and gravitated to his positive outlook on life. It was crushing to Tootie and so many others, when 21-year-old Kole was suddenly killed in a car accident.
As we talked, I told Tootie, that I could imagine Andy running through heaven shouting, ‘Kole, Kole, Kole, Kole! Come quick! I’m so excited! My mom is going to talk to your mama! It’s going to be great! Come, let’s listen together!’ Tootie said, that in typical Kole fashion, he would be eager to come along with this younger teen and not miss out on the excitement. We could both imagine their big grins smiling down as they watched us share.
Admittedly, I really don’t know if heaven is like that or not, but it sure is amazing to imagine that it might be. Even more, it warms my grieving heart to think of Andy running through heaven each week, excitedly bringing others like Kole to listen.
Oh Tootie!
I just listened to your story about precious Kole. I am so very sorry for your loss. I love hearing your grace – it shines through every word. I lost my son, Judson, on May 29, 2021, so I am soon approaching the three year mark. You are truly inspiring in the way you are handling the loss of Kole.
He is incredibly handsome and he has a look in his eye that seems to say: I see you, I hear you, and I understand. What a precious soul.
I am so happy to have heard your story. Marcy is amazing at bringing those of us who have gone through losing a child, together.
Thank you again for sharing,
Jami, Judson’s Mom
Thank you so much for your kind words Jami ❤️ I appreciate you listening.
Sending you lots of love and peace to you and your Judson on your journey.
Reach out anytime
Tootie,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Kole! He seems like an all around awesome kid! Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us!
I have to tell you, my heart dropped when I saw the pictures of him. He is beautiful! My very first thought was, “Wow, he looks like Brogan…I think that’s what Brogan would look like!” As you and Marcy talked about, we don’t know what our boys are doing, or what they might look like. This is the first time I had a visual of what Brogan might look like as a young adult! I am forever grateful to have seen Kole’s face!
Also, he sounds a lot like Brogan, outdoors and adventurous! I imagine Kole and Brogan hunting and fishing and being boys up in Heaven. I know Brogan would be looking up to Kole and admiring him in awe.
Brogan never met a stranger either! Everyone gravitated to him. Everyone love(d/s) him! He didn’t have one best friend, and that used to bother me, but then I realized you don’t ONE best friend when you have so many great friends!
Thank you again! If you ever want to chat, please reach out!
danacschaefer@gmail.com
Or text 612-532-8074
Dana, this is so touching and beautiful ❤️
Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate you listening.
I love hearing of your thought of Brogan when you saw Kole’s picture 🥰
Sending you love and peace always
I’ll be reaching out to you ❣️