Grieving the death of your child is horrific, but grieving it publicly is even worse. When Ivan died in his fraternity room while he was away at college, his mom, Velvet, desperately wanted to know what happened to him. His own sister learned of his death by people who saw the local news. Soon Ivan’s death grew and made national news. He was young, healthy, good-looking, and attended a well know university. His death was ‘a good story.’
That story, however, barely scratches the surface as to the sort of person Ivan was. He was a smart kid, an excellent student and an amazing son. He had a 3.45 GPA at Arizona State University. He had a bright future ahead of him in sports management, but these sorts of comments aren’t the headlines that make for a ‘good’ news story. He made a bad decision that night certainly, but in no way did he think he was putting himself in a dangerous situation.
Velvet came on the podcast today to tell Ivan’s true story, not the one that people think they know from the news, but his real story. This story is not one of a reckless frat boy who lived to party as many people assume. This is a story of an incredibly intelligent young man who trusted the wrong person. Velvet’s warning to all of us is that if this death could happen to her son, Ivan, it could really happen to anyone.
I just finished listening to Ivan’s story. You could have been telling my grandson Cameron’s story. I am his grandmother. He was so special to so many… his journey was exactly like Ivan’s. Prep school, college wrestling scholarship and so many friends who thought Cam was their best friend. He too made what we believe what was an impulsive decision that led to his fentanyl death. The coroner said that he never stood a chance even if he had been in the ER at the time. It was Christmas night 2020 in his own bedroom with a friend who had previous experience so the friend had tolerance and survived. Today is the nine month anniversary and I miss him so much. And I miss my son who lost his son that night and will never be the same. He is strong but will never be my John who was so happy on Christmas Day. I am so sorry that your story was presented to the world as an overdose. It was a poisoning. Hearing your story touched me like no other… I will think of Ivan often.