When Luna contacted me a few short weeks ago, sharing that her son, Hunter, had died suddenly while he was sleeping, my heart broke for her as it does whenever I hear these tragic stories. I thought about the grief journey that she had just begun and how challenging it would be for her in the days, weeks, and months ahead. I thought about ways that I might be a support for her from the other side of the country. I accepted her Facebook request and began to follow her writings and pictures that she posted.
Very quickly, I learned that I would not just be giving support for Luna; I would be learning a great deal from her as well. This was a woman who seemed to truly know how to grieve. Not even one month after the death of Hunter, she posted something that she titled, ‘What do you say or do for someone who’s lost a child?’ She sent it to me asking if I might be interested in sharing it with my listeners which I quickly did. She had 13 specific points in that post, and I agreed with each and every one of them. How could she be so wise so soon? I quickly realized that this is a very special woman with a very special gift to share.
Although Luna had only recently lost her precious only child, she seemed to be understanding grief in ways that took me almost two years to realize. She lives in the present, taking each day as it comes. She does not hide away from the grief. When it overcomes her, she allows it to do so. She weeps tears of lament as they come and does not try to stuff the emotions away.
Whether at work or with friends socially, she clearly states what she can and can’t do. She explains ahead of time, that if her emotions take over, she may simply have to leave a meeting. When that happens, she does not feel guilty as I often do, because she knows that she has explained herself ahead of time. She allows herself time to really feel everything that she needs to at that moment and then she moves on. Thinking too much about the past or too far into the future becomes overwhelming so she tries to keep herself in the present.
Another thing that I love about Luna is the way that she has expressed herself by turning Hunter’s gravesite into a beautiful canvas. Each day, she visits the grave and creates beauty there with flowers, rocks, fabric and pictures. She arrives at the cemetary in deep sadness and sorrow and slowly feels her spirit being lifted up as she creates something wonderful that honors Hunter. She leaves with a little bit of peace that can help her get through another day. Even looking at pictures helps me to feel a little bit of peace as well.