This past week, I was interviewed by Ben and Jason on the Threads Podcast: Life Unfiltered. They reached out to me a couple of weeks ago asking me to be on their show. They described it as a show talking about life openly and honestly, and looking at the threads that intertwine and hold us together. I truly did not know what to expect, and I don’t think they really knew what to expect from me either. When I listened to their show last week (which is awesome by the way), they seemed to be almost a little nervous about having me on. They discuss heavy topics, but also like to laugh and discuss lighter topics as well.
I feel like that they decided to reach out to me for two reasons. The first is that I, too, talk about life in an honest, unfiltered way and do not back away from talking about tough issues in life. The second, more personal reason, is because Ben personally understands loss as you will hear if you listen to the episode.
Several years ago, he and his wife were in the final stages of adopting three siblings. They had fostered them for years and had loved them as their own children. Ultimately, these children were taken away from them when their parents had their rights reinstated by the Oregon Supreme Court. I, obviously, do not know the full story or the story of their biological parents, but I did see Ben’s tremendous pain. He lost those children forever and has not been allowed to see them or hear from them at all. Although the children did not physically die, he lost them from his life, just as I had.
As I discussed this later with my husband, Eric, we spoke about the fact that, in some ways, this loss is even worse than what we experienced. I know that Andy is happy in heaven with Jesus. Ben knows those children are likely still in the state of Oregon, but really knows nothing else about how they are doing. Are they happy and healthy? Are they going to school? My heart immediately went out to him and to his wife whom I have not even met.
Please listen to the episode below. In it, you can hear just a little more about Ben’s story and a lot more about my story. If you are a regular listener to my show, you will recognize some of the stories that I tell here, but others I have not shared before. As is almost always the case, I cry a little, and refreshingly enough, they were not bothered by it at all. I am very used to being around bereaved parents who are not at all put off by crying, but when I talk with those who are not bereaved, they usually quickly become uncomfortable. Perhaps, they, too, understand the healing nature of tears.