The podcast launched on Monday and was really very successful. I had 560 downloads in the first 24 hours. Things are continuing to go well and as of the afternoon of the fifth day, I am at 1445 downloads. The first episode with my husband Eric, actually has 930. I was reading that a podcast episode is in the top 50% if it gets 136 downloads and top 20% if it gets 1100 downloads in 30 days, and I am only at 5 days. Wow!
Those first three days, I was really flying high. There was tons of positive feedback on Facebook and I was even interviewed by 2 different local news stations. I could barely even sleep the first night as I had to keep looking at my download numbers. Many people reached out, wanting to tell me their sad stories. It really helped me to listen and try to offer whatever help I could. I set up many interviews to be done over the next few months. All of this is such good news, great news even.
However, this afternoon, things aren’t feeling as great. The download numbers are not changing every 2 minutes like they were, and I am not hearing from as many new people. I also had my Facebook posts removed from a mom’s group that I belong to because I was ‘self-promoting downloadable material.’ That actually caused the tears to flow once again. Is that what it looks like to the outside world? Does it look like I am somehow trying to use Andy’s death for my own gain?
Oh my word! I pray that this is not the impression I am giving to others. There is not even a tiny bit of me that wanted to do this. I did not want death to invade my perfect family. I was so happy with my pediatric practice, my 800 patients and my very close family. This is nothing compared to what I had before. In my mind, I want to help care for other people again, for families. I want to do one last thing, the only thing I can do with my son, Andy.
I know that tomorrow probably will be a better day again, but the roller coaster will continue for a long time. At least I am not always in the valley anymore. The roller coaster may be located in the valley and start in the valley, but at the peaks I can see out to the rest of the world.
We lost our son (Andy) in April of this year. He was 37 years old and leaves a wife and 3 young boys. We are still in disbelief and miss him terrible.
Jim & Carol
Please accept my heartfelt condolences. I lost my son, August 22, 2018. He was 35. Talking to others who understand the heartwrenching loss has been helpful.
I lost my beautiful and precious 17 year old son 40 days ago. My heart is absolutely broken and I am grieving him deeply. The past few weeks I have been looking for an encouraging, inspirational podcast related to the loss of child and the grieving process. I came across yours a few days ago and I wanted to thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. My loss is still so very raw and new and my soul is in despair. I’m reading books on the loss of a child and grief, I’m journaling and I am in counseling. It gives me hope to know that others have known the same pain, have survived and joy has been restored. The best I can do right now is put one foot in front of the other and lean on the Lord for strength to make it another day. My prayer each day is for him to just hold me together as I try and find a new way forward without my sweet boy. I’d love for you to read about my wonderful son https://www.facebook.com/chrisy.slate/posts/10219627812154997
My heart breaks for you. I can’t wait to read more about your precious son. It is great that you can read books. They can be so helpful. I think it took me months to read a book.
My prayers are with you,
We are one of your 800 patients at your practice and we think of and pray for your family often. You supported my daughter and I through some difficult stages and I will never forget the kindness and compassion that you offered us. I pray that as you continue to navigate this journey of grief that you will continue to experience the same care and compassion that you’ve offered to so many. Thank you for the transparency that you’re providing and allowing a space for others to walk through their own grief along side you.
Just found your podcasts. Not even really sure how. Maybe our sons got together for me to find it? I lost my beautiful Alexander 8 years ago. He was just 21 months old. He was diagnosed with STUPID cancer at just 8 months old and fought hard for 13 months before the evil beast won over.
Being 8 years out things are different. But I can still remember those early hard days when it was hard to just get out of bed