Grief has a way of demanding movement — something for our hands to do when our hearts are too heavy to hold still.
In this episode of the Always Andy’s Mom Podcast, I talk with Taylor, a grieving father whose son, Ray, was stillborn late in pregnancy. Taylor’s story is one we don’t hear often enough — not because it is uncommon, but because fathers are so often expected to grieve quietly.
Taylor shares what it was like to finally feel Ray kick, the moment fatherhood became real for him. After a healthy 20-week scan and months of anticipation, everything seemed to be moving forward as expected. Then, at 27 weeks, everything changed. Ray’s heartbeat was gone. What followed was labor and delivery without the outcome every parent hopes for, and sacred time spent holding their son — loving him, grieving him, and saying goodbye.
Taylor speaks candidly about the emotions that followed, especially anger and fear. Anger surprised him. He had never considered himself an angry person, yet after Ray’s death, it showed up often and without warning. Fear followed close behind — the realization that the world was no longer predictable or safe, and that unimaginable loss could happen again.
One of the most meaningful parts of this conversation is how Taylor found a way to give his grief somewhere to go. At the suggestion of his wife, Taylor taught himself how to crochet using yarn that had originally been purchased for Ray. What began as a simple idea soon became a lifeline. With his hands busy and his mind able to rest, crocheting gave him moments of quiet focus in the midst of overwhelming grief.
From that yarn, Taylor made hats for family members, baby hats for donation, and keepsakes that carry Ray’s presence forward. Each stitch became an act of love — a way to honor his son, to stay connected, and to transform grief into something tangible. Over time, this unexpected practice became a source of healing, purpose, and peace.
This episode is a powerful reminder that healing does not mean forgetting. Sometimes it looks like finding a way to carry love forward — stitch by stitch, breath by breath.
You are not alone. 🤍
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