In this powerful episode of the Always Andy’s Mom Podcast, I’m joined by Lisa Oris, mom to Billy and founder of the nonprofit Grief Guide, for a conversation that gently dismantles many of the myths our culture holds about grief.
Lisa offers a metaphor that lands deeply for so many grieving parents. She describes how, before loss, our emotions can feel organized—like neatly folded clothes in a dresser. Sadness in one drawer. Joy in another. Fear tucked away where we don’t have to see it.
And then grief arrives.
Not by opening a drawer carefully—but by blowing the entire dresser up.
Everything spills out at once. Emotions overlap. Nothing stays contained. And suddenly, the idea that grief should be orderly, linear, or resolved begins to fall apart.
Together, we talk about how grief is often framed as a “journey” or a story—something with a clear beginning, middle, and end. We explore how common models of grief, including stages and story arcs, can unintentionally create pressure for grieving people to “progress,” “heal,” or arrive at acceptance as if crossing a finish line.
But grief doesn’t follow a plot.
There is no hero’s journey.
No victory parade.
No neat and tidy ending.
Grief is messy, disorienting, and deeply human. Some days we can function. Some days we can’t. And both are part of loving someone who is no longer here.
Lisa speaks honestly about the harm done when grieving parents are told to be strong, to find meaning too quickly, or to turn their loss into a success story. Instead, she reminds us that grief is not something to conquer—it’s something to live with, tend to, and allow to reshape us over time.
We also talk about Lisa’s nonprofit, Grief Guide, which exists to walk alongside grieving individuals and families with compassion, presence, and honesty—without fixing, rushing, or minimizing their pain. You can learn more about her work and offerings at mygriefguide.org.
Lisa is also the author of her new book, Never Apologize for Your Tears, a deeply affirming invitation for grieving people to release shame, reject unrealistic expectations, and honor their grief without apology.
If your grief feels scattered, unfinished, and anything but orderly—this episode is for you. You are not failing. Your grief does not need to make sense. And you do not need to tidy it up for anyone else.
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