There is one question that this week’s guest, Nicole (www.nicolebgebhardt.com), asks each client when she first starts seeing them as a life coach.
What are three things you love about yourself?
How did you answer this question? Was it difficult? Did you even come up with three things? I have to admit something. I had a hard time. As a mom, I can think of three things I love about my kids. As a wife, I can easily name three things I love above my husband, but when asked to look inward like this, I falter.
Nicole says that 85% of her clients have the same struggle. They can’t name even one thing, let alone three. There was a time when Nicole had these same feelings. After suffering through two miscarriages and the death of her 9-week-old son, Samuel, from SIDS, she didn’t feel like she deserved to be happy. Nicole turned to alcohol, and when her husband began abusing her, she felt as if she ‘deserved’ the abuse.
Even after having three healthy children, leaving her first husband, and meeting her ‘Prince Charming’, she still didn’t love herself. Five and a half years ago, she decided to take her own life. After surviving that suicide attempt, her outlook on life changed. She chose to become clean and sober and focus on loving herself first.
This certainly was not easy, but when talking to Nicole today, I can say that she, quite simply, radiates joy. Despite her past, Nicole does not let these experiences define her. Nicole realizes that she is not a victim. She is a survivor, and that is amazing. She is resilient, she is strong, and she is awesome.
Think about your own life for a minute. Think of all that you have gone through. Likely, if you are reading this, your child died. Perhaps you have suffered through abuse and addiction or tried to help a loved one through their struggles. Maybe you have lost other loved ones or your job, marriage, or home. Despite all of these things and more, you get up every day. You are strong and resilient. We all are.
Can I name three things I love about myself? Yes, I can. And so can you.
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